Preparing for Parenthood When YOU Have a Disability

Guest Post by: Ashley Taylor

Preparing Your Life and Home for Parenthood When You Have a Disability

Image via Pixabay

There is nothing quite as rewarding as being a new parent. The bond you share with your children is unlike anything you’ve experienced before. You get to watch them grow into their own personality with hopes, dreams, fears, and interests. They, in turn, learn from you as you teach them life lessons based on what you’ve learned in your own life. Together, you are a family that supports each other in hard times and celebrates accomplishments during the good times.

When you live with a disability, the rewards of parenting are still there. However, there are certain preparations future parents with disabilities should take to make sure they are ready for parenthood in their unique situation. Doing so helps simplify life so you can enjoy your new life as a parent without excessively worrying about things such as money and accessibility. Below are a couple of ways you can prepare your life and renovate your home for parenthood when you have a disability.

Preparing Financially

The best things in life may be free, but healthcare and diapers are not. The average cost for raising a baby runs around $12,000 just for the first year. By age two, it can cost a family $12,500 per year, and that number increases as they grow. Plus, as a person with a disability, you may have extra healthcare costs associated with pregnancy. For many parents living with a disability, these costs can become a big problem.

A survey paid for by the Department of Education’s National Institute on Disability Rehabilitation and Research (NIDRR) discovered that families that include at least one parent living with a disability are more likely to live below the poverty line than families who do not. Factors such as difficulty finding work, additional medical expenses, and lack of financial assistance make it difficult for some families to make ends meet.

Below are just some of the financial preparations future parents can make to ensure they are able to handle the costs of raising a child.

● Establish a workable budget that covers daily expenses while still allowing you to save.

● Pre-pay your bills before going on maternity or paternity leave. Having those expenses covered beforehand allows you to focus on nesting and a healthy birth.

● Scale back on luxury expenses like cable; you’ll likely find you don’t have as much time to watch TV once the little one is in the house.

● Apply for parenting grants and federal assistance for people with disabilities to help cover birthing costs.

● Look into college savings plans that will help you put aside the money necessary for your child’s future education.

Preparing the Home

While your home may already be renovated in some ways for accessibility, take into consideration the additional mobility you will need to keep up with a growing child. All parents go through a nesting period where they decorate and babyproof their home. As a parent with a disability, it may take a little more time and money to complete necessary renovations. Some renovations you should consider include:

● Zero-step entrances that can make it easier to navigate around the house when you are juggling your baby and belongings.

● Skid-resistant flooring to prevent slip and falls.

● Consider installing expandable hinges to add clearance to doorways.

● Set up a dedicated area for play where the baby can move around freely, and you can move around safely.

● Install a loop or lever faucet to make bath time easier.

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Being a parent is incredibly rewarding, but it is also expensive and a lot of work. If you are a parent with a disability, this is even more true. Prepare financially by budgeting, paying expenses like bills before maternity/paternity leave, and setting up a college fund. You can make your home safer and easier to navigate with renovations such as zero-step entrances, skid-resistant flooring, and lever faucets in the bath.

About the Author: 

Ashley Taylor is a disabled mother of two wonderful, amazing, energetic children. She met her husband, Tom, while doing physical therapy. Tom had suffered a spinal cord injury due to a car accident and uses a wheelchair for mobility. Ashley and Tom knew they wanted children and knew they would have to adapt their lives and home in order to make this dream come true. Ashley is happy to say that they are the proud parents of two healthy, wonderful children and their disabilities haven’t stopped them from leading a happy, fulfilling life. Connect with Ashley and get more great parenting tips on her site at disabledparents.org.

6 Ways to Assist Your Special Needs Child To Live A Fulfilling Life

Guest Post by: Amy Grunewald

Are you concerned about the future of your special needs child?  Some kids have various learning disabilities, but they can also have a normal life. While taking care of a child with special needs requires commitment and patience, its rewards are fulfilling. 

Vincent Van Gogh was an influential artist who had dyslexia, yet his paintings left a legacy in the world. Therefore, do not beat yourself up if you have a special needs child. Learn the ropes and enjoy the rewards of being a caregiver. Here are 6 ways to assist your special needs child to live a fulfilling life.

Seek Medical Help

Do you suspect your child may have special needs? It is advisable to talk to your doctor immediately. Your child may not be meeting his or her milestones on time and this is a red flag to most parents, therefore, ensure that you detect the problem as early as you can. This may prevent other disabilities from actualizing. Besides, medical experts can enable you to understand your child’s condition better and empower you on ways to assist him.

Read Widely

You should acquire diverse reading materials concerning your child’s needs. Learn everything about special needs children and how to cope with your child’s needs in particular. You should also get information about the services that can help your child and offer support depending on the special need you are dealing with.

Education

After identifying that your child has special needs, ensure that you enroll him or her in a school that caters for special needs children. Talk to your child’s teacher and survey the learning environment to ensure that it meets the special needs of your child. Also, you can recommend changes in areas where you are not satisfied since this greatly impacts on your child’s education.

Join Groups

It is quite challenging to care for a special needs child. Therefore, a good support system encourages you to soldier on despite the challenges. You should join groups with similar interests or talk to parents with special needs children. Also, confiding in trust-worthy family members or friends offers you support and inspires you to continue caring for your child unconditionally. Furthermore, you can join community programs within your locality that assist special needs children. This will offer different perspectives on how you can care for your child. 

Discover Special Talents

Your special needs child is an individual, and hence, he possesses unique talents which are different from other children. As a parent, it is your duty to study and discover your child’s abilities. You should spend quality time with your child, whether it is reading, playing or talking to him. This enables you to discover what draws your child’s interest, like maybe drawing, painting or a love for music, and ultimately, you might uncover the genius in your child.

Support Your Child

You should always be supportive towards your special needs child and focus on the positive features. Ensure you recognize his achievements no matter how small they are. Always celebrate and appreciate your child because you are helping to build his/her self-confidence and thus, prepare him for a fulfilling life ahead. 

About the Author:

Amy Grunewald is a blogger and a freelance writer at fireessay.com. She writes about education, travel, business and is passionate about digital technologies. She is fond of music. In her free time, she paints pictures.

Single Parenting: Being Raised By A Single Father

Are you a single parent? How about a single father? Some of you may know that I was raised by a single father, who's relationship is very dear to my heart. My father taught me everything that little girls must know; like how to shave my legs, apply makeup, and yes...the menstrual cycle and bras were also in the know. 

Being a single parent is HARD for anyone, but being a single father to a daughter can be even more challenging! Unfortunately, there's not a lot of resources out there for single fathers. So when Daniel from dadsolo.com asked me if I'd be interested in posting his article on being a single father, of course I said yes!

Daniel is the author of dadsolo.com. He's also a single father to a daughter (9) and a son (6). He started dadsolo.com to help and share his experiences with other single fathers.

{Guest Post}    

Challenges of Being a Single Father and How to Overcome Them

By Daniel Sherwin

Raising children is one of the greatest and most unpredictable adventures. There are unprecedented surprises, moments of joy and pride, and difficulties. A single father will know all too well that the role is full of challenges but also brimming with rewarding and incredible experiences. Even though single fatherhood has become more common over the years, there are still many challenges these fathers face. Read on to learn about how single fathers can overcome these challenges.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

Many single dads are reluctant or resistant to ask for help. It might be due to denial or a belief that it is a sign of weakness or failure. Nobody can navigate the waters of single parenthood alone. Building a support group can help ease the workload and come in handy during unforeseen circumstances or emergencies. Look for assistance through a variety of avenues:

●     Research local support groups in your area. These may include groups for single parents or exclusively for single fathers that meet weekly or monthly for supportive conversations.

●     Use online groups and forums to communicate with others and get advice.

●     Look into government assistance and programs that might help in lifting some financial burdens or tax credits.

●     Ask around in your community, church, or local schools for programs that can help with after-school activities or affordable child care.

●     Many nonprofits and other programs help single fathers with useful information. These include resources like the National Fatherhood Initiative, The Fatherhood Project, Parents Without Partners.

Take Care of Yourself

It’s easy for parents to put their physical and mental health in the backburner or to make excuses when time appears to fly by. This can result in problems in the long term that will actually cause greater obstacles when looking after your children. As the Huffington Post explains, your health is a great investment in your child’s life.

According to drugrehab.org, “The way we eat, drink, love, and cope with stress, depression, anxiety, and sadness all play a big role in the state our mental health is in. Sometimes, it’s necessary to take a step back and ask yourself if you’re doing the right thing for you, and not the easiest thing.”

Exercise

Many single parents suffer from isolation and depression and often neglect caring for their mental health, leading to more serious problems down the road. Negative thoughts and anxiety brought on by stress and a lack of rest can be naturally mitigated with a regular dose of exercise. Physical activity plays an important role in overall health and wellness. Parents can often incorporate exercise into activities with their kids, such as taking them to a park, on a walk, or on a run. Regular exercise, according to Harvard Health, can help fight stress, depression, and anxiety.

Exercise also helps maintain a healthy heart and energy level. Organizing your week to include at least three to four exercise sessions is vital to you and your child’s well-being.

Diet

Maintaining a healthy and clean diet is not only necessary for your health, but it also instills good eating habits in your child. In order to avoid last-minute visits for fast food, have precooked meals and leftovers ready throughout the week. By choosing one day a week to cook in bulk and prepare large portions of storable food, you can ensure your fridge is always stocked with healthy home-cooked meals that include plenty of vegetables and healthy proteins.

Structure and Order

While your life may seem chaotic, doing your best to structure your days and set routines can go a long way in helping you manage the many tasks and responsibilities in front of you. According to The Spruce, children thrive with routine, and this can help them get a sense of stability and comfort.

Remember you share similar circumstances with millions of other Americans that are single parents, and you are not alone. However your adventure is uniquely yours. Embrace the challenge as an opportunity to live life to the fullest and learn. Doing your best and being a loving parent is the greatest example you can set for your child.

Photo credit: Pixabay

{End of Guest Post}

Kudos to those single fathers out there...and to ALL single parents! If you're a single parent, and especially a single father, I highly recommend you tune into dadsolo.com. Daniel has lots of great insights to offer to other single parents!

I'd love to close with a very special poem that my father wrote before he passed titled, "Being a Mom When I'm Only a Dad." It is VERY SPECIAL to me and hangs on the wall in my home! It reminds me of everything he taught me every day!

Copyright George Norwood Marlowe/Traci Marlowe Bender

The poem reads:

Being A Mom When I'm Only A Dad

By George Norwood Marlowe

I correct them when they are wrong, 

I stand by them when they are right.

I wake them up each morning, 

I tuck them in each night.

I forgive them when are wrong,

I try to understand.

I wrap my arms around them,

or gently hold their hand.

I laugh with them when they are happy,

I cry when they are sad. 

I want to be the best friend,

that they have ever had.

Yes, I've seen them happy,

I've seen them sad.

I praise them for their good deeds,

I sold them for the bad.

Yes, the toughest job I've ever had, is being a mom when I'm only a dad.

I've done their laundry,

I've cooked their meals.

I've helped them climb bridges,

I've helped them climb hills.

I've mended his trousers,

I've sewn buttons on his shirts.

I've set up late nights,

just hemming her skirts.

I taught her how to cook and clean,

I taught her how to sew.

I've tried to teach her all the things,

that little girls should know.

Yes, the toughest job I've ever had is being a mom when I'm only a dad.

I know their joys,

I know their fears.

I've doctored their bruises,

I've dried their tears.

I've often walked by their room at night, 

when were sound asleep.

I'd gently pull their cover up,

and kiss them on the cheek.

Sometimes they ask for dollars

sometimes it's just a dime. 

But the most important thing to them, 

is my love, my trust, and time.

Yes, the toughest job I've ever had, is being a mom when I'm only a dad!